


Save Me

by EternalSekai



Series: Sad Love Story [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 11:53:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13703928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalSekai/pseuds/EternalSekai
Summary: To the ground under my feet I screamed—For it to listen,For it to keep the gravity stronger,To hold me still.To the world around me I cried—For it to behold,For it to witness—The blood that's flowing down my trembling torso;To notice my pain.To the people I let out my loudest shriek—For them to hear me,For them to come and save me,But silence—Only silence resonates across the earth beneath me,Deafening, sickening.And nothing.Nothing has come and saved me.No one.— Jane





	Save Me

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: No Proof-read

 

' _Hey, bitch! We've left another pleasant surprise for you_.' 

Sehun reads the note attached to his locker in a bored expression but both of his fists clench so hard until his knuckles turn white. The notes have been a usual threat for the students to send him every day without feeling guilty. The worse is, _at all_.

They have never felt guilty at all for doing so to Sehun. Nonetheless, he has been living with bullies in his entire lifetime and nobody seems to care. People think it is normal to get bullied during school life and sooner or later it will die as they grow up. But that is the fault in the society when none has ever thought it could cause a mental illness to the victim. And to them, depression is something easy, never really needs to be taken care of but that what makes Sehun a person with depression today. 

Anything he does would turn out sickening to them even breathing seems to be absurd. To say Sehun isn't affected is an understatement when he has been facing mental and physical tortures in every single day of his life without anybody supporting him. Not even his parents. His family, they are just too busy with their business until Sehun finds himself only exists to be an heir to the corporation once his father is dead and not truly important to be someone they should give an attention to.

Clearly, he is not someone who has his life wrapped in the poverty because to be honestly speaking, he is the only heir of Oh Corporation but what is the meaning of holding the title when no one really cares about his existence? Oh Sehun, he needs nothing more than just a comfort. For all that happens, he needs someone to accept him as he is and tell him that he has been doing well in his life. 

 

 

> _"Teacher, look at this boy! He is not normal!"_
> 
> _Sehun blinks in confusion. For once he thinks, is wearing a pink backpack makes him abnormal? It is his first day in elementary school and Sehun isn't someone who is good at socializing but he would like to make friends with his classmate on his first day. He never knows what it feels like to have a friend around his age but trying won't hurt, right?_
> 
> _So, he approaches a boy who is having his hair a tad too long until it reaches his shoulders, brunette in color—so much for a boy Sehun thinks, but he does not say anything offensive—and his skin isn't as fair as Oh Sehun, the bronze skin makes him look handsome unlike Sehun who people can mistake him as a girl sometimes due to his porcelain skin, long lashes, hair is dyed to blonde by his mother and his features are a lot more beautiful than handsome._
> 
> _However, he does not expect this kind of reaction on his first day. Everybody in the classroom is looking at him like he has been the center of attention people would not want to tear their eyes away from him._
> 
> _Some of them are laughing, some are throwing a judging look and the boy in front of him, of course, is the one who is judging him hard right now. Sehun is speechless and he does not know how to respond to that. The teacher is smiling, softly at him, but he cannot perceive the meaning of her smile. The tension is all that he feels now which it makes him hang his head low whilst playing with the hem of his white shirt._
> 
> _"Pink is not for boys!!"_
> 
> _"Teacher, he looks girlish with blonde hair and pink backpack!"_
> 
> _And some other students from the corner of the room shout that Sehun decides to only close his eyes in embarrassment. He bites down his lower lip to prevent himself from crying. He does not expect this to happen and Sehun wants nothing than to be treated like a normal human being on his first day._
> 
> _He is then, day after day, only getting people laughed at him, stole his belongings, calling him names and not a single person in the class would want to be his friend. They blame him for being so soft and beautiful. They blame his features for not getting any friends and they blame him for not being defensive towards the bullies._
> 
> _And starting from that very moment he, too, is blaming himself for being the one who never knows how to properly talk and be a boy he should've been._

 

"Someone is coming over this evening, please put on _more_ presentable outfit, sweetheart," His mother says with a smile on her lips before she closes the door to his bedroom. Sehun sits there, in his bed with a phone in his hand but never really knows what the uses of it.

Although he has everything, he seems no less than an orphan, a strayed child, a person who's locked up, prisoned in the darkness, alone. Nobody has ever asked about his mental health. As long as he is good physically, they would just take it easy. For a moment, he thinks, why do they have to care about the dinner? Can't they see him as a person who is in need of helps?

_'She never cares for you, Sehun.'_

He hears a whispering voice close to his ears, ringing in his head. With trembling hands, he puts the phone away on the nightstand. He is sick with people, sick of his life. Hands then pull closer, which then fall on either side of his body before he clutches on the bed sheet as if his life's depending on it. So tight, his knuckles turn white.

It hurts so much he wants to badly hurt himself again just to let out the pain—the pain which he has let it bottle deep within him, for days, for months, for _years_. It has stuck down there for ages, thousands of unspoken words are remaining unsaid, thoughts are long ditched, unuttered.

_'You're a loser! Someone who does not worth living. You've never fought for your right! All you do is being a coward!'_

The voice screams, almost as if someone is pointing finger at him and Sehun wants to scream. He wants so badly to let out the loudest shriek so people can hear him, can finally hold out a hand but he knows there will be no one who is going to save him. No one is going to be his savior. And he cries with jaw clenching tight, producing only a choked sob when actually he wants to wail for others to notice his pain.

The voice has dominated his mind again, controlling his system and it has overpowered him. Sehun is helpless, he does not know what to do and how to stop himself from mentally hurting. If people really look into his eyes, they will see pain, it has sat there for his life time, trapped in the confusion he all carries. 

There is a thunder in his thoughts, despair coursing through his blood and a numbness, once again, clouding his eyes. It has all turned him blind, he cannot see anything bright. All that transfigures before him is only darkness. They have been his friends, his shadow, since forever for which he is caged in isolation.

The lights in his room are long dimmed, reflected to his mind which is slowly shutting down, controlled by the woe that creeps in. Sehun is dying, he is falling into the dark hole of nowhere. His mind whispers, for a moment, calling a help, a hand to catch him as he falls before he blackens out. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Darling, stop chewing on the skin of your lips." Mrs. Oh sighs, unnoticed of Sehun's puffy, red eyes display before her as she pulls a chair just for Sehun to sit down. Chewing on the skin of his lips and fingernails has been Sehun's habits which it could never be stopped. His mother knows, but it is her fault to not notice how agitated and paranoid her son is towards the outside world. "Your childhood friend is going to be here, so come on, cheer up a bit." 

Sehun remains with a straight face as he sits down at the dining table, tongue licking on his lower lip when he stops chewing on the skin. He can feel the blood at the tip of his tongue but he is too used to the bitterness of it which he does not care. Somehow it makes him want to taste more. He does not care if his lips would look ugly in the aftermath but he loves the taste of blood running on the surface of his skin.

It has become an addiction, so addictive Sehun cannot resist. Half a minute through sitting, his mind is already spacing out, a bit too far when he sees himself running at an unknown place but it is dark, way too dark he cannot see where his legs are dragging him to and the direction seems to be much confusing.

It is like he is in the abandoned tunnel, eerie and menacing, with malignant aura floating in the air; so overwhelming it chokes him, blocking his lungs but his legs are still moving. Sehun is in fear with no one is there to help him, to guide him. To where he is leading, he does not know.

The floor is littered with hypodermic needles, broken bottles and sewage but his eyes are quick to search for the source of light. Hoping he would soon be able to find a way out eventhough his mind is crying the otherwise. As fear crawls under the pore of his skin, his body shivers and he can feel the darkness is ready to eat him anytime sooner. He wants to be saved, he needs a help but he has no idea to whom he should go. His body is already drenching in sweat and his steps start to get heavier and heavier. 

Exhausted, he is too exhausted. The energy has begun to drain from his body which only a few amounts of strength leaves at the tip of his fingers. 

All sign of life has vanished from the tunnel that might as well be a place full of warmth before. A heinous laugh suddenly echoes throughout the space that makes him to run faster. Although there seems to be no energy left in his body, his pace quickens then lets a lone tear trickles down his face. He is scared but out of the blue, there is a glint of hope budding in his heart when his eyes catch the glimpse of lights flicker at the end of the tunnel.

It is still too far but his eyes seem to be playing trick on him when a lone figure suddenly appears, a figure of a man holding out a hand for him as though he has been waiting—,

"....hun, Sehun. Hey... are you okay, sweetheart?" Sehun's body jolts in surprise when there is a hand touching his shoulder. He snaps his head to his left to see the owner of the hand and is being greeted with someone he barely knows.

It is a middle-aged woman, lips smiling with her eyes are now staring deep into his brown ones as if she is searching for something uncertain in it, looking straight into the younger's before she catches something behind it withers. Her face expression suddenly strikes with worries and she does not break her eye contact with Sehun and it scares him. He fears people would go deeper and found the deepest secret he has been holding that he quickly lowers his gaze and shoots up from his seat. 

"Hi, I'm... I'm sorry I was..." Sehun stutters out, unable to form a proper sentence to greet the other. 

She notices the younger's hands tremble which she decides to put on the softest smile before she caresses his arms lightly. "It's okay, you seem tired. But mind if I ask, how are you? It's been almost thirteen years we haven't met."

A frown forms on his face at the words uttered by the elder woman. "Thirteen... years? How?"  

"Yes, thirteen years, Sehun. Do you not remember Chanyeol from your childhood? I'm Madam Park, his mother. We were your neighbor back then, remember?" Her smile widens but Sehun still cannot perceive to anything she is saying. There is too much information he needs to absorb at a time and his mind just cannot bring him back to thirteen years ago. As far as he remembers, he does not have any friends from his childhood. All that he has up until now is only himself. 

"I can't... I'm sorry," 

She can see how the younger is trying so hard to remember so she decides not to push Sehun further because it makes her heart crack at the image of the other hanging his head low, hands shaking whilst muttering his sorry even if there isn't any fault at not remembering the days from thirteen years ago. Anyone could forget and she completely understands why. It is maybe because Sehun was just a kid back then.

"You don't have to be sorry, sweetheart. You're just a small boy back then, so it's understandable. But to me, you're still that beautiful boy I used to adore before and you've become a lot more handsome today." 

Despite of his skinny, lanky body and pale face, she still finds him a good-looking boy. Definitely, she does not understand why Sehun seems like he is in fear but she tries not to scare him by putting on the softest smile every time she speaks. 

Those words to him, though comforting but it makes Sehun's stomach twist inside. He tries to reply her smile but it seems to be harder for him to form one since he has not smiling for God knows how long. How could he create one when he never knows what happiness is?

To him, this is the very first time when he has someone around talking to him with her voice so soft, laces with nothing but cares and sincerity. It is rather clear to him now as he stares at her momentarily, her lips are still curving up and it is the sweetest Sehun has ever seen. He is about to do the same when someone suddenly pops up behind Mrs. Park. 

There, stands behind the middle-aged woman, a guy with pointy ears, lips mirroring Mrs. Park's act and he has a light brown hair which styled perfectly and Sehun has to refrain himself from staring.

For all that curiosity that is building inside of him, Sehun hangs his head low, trying harder not to look up at the other guy and closes his eyes for a few seconds. Sehun has the need to just storm off and get himself locked in his bedroom but his legs has gone numb which causes him to stay rooted on his spot, motionless. 

"Hey, I'm Chanyeol. Park Chanyeol," The deep voice resonates across his mind as he opens his eyes only to be greeted by a hand, holding out for him to take for a handshake. "It's nice to finally see you again." 

 

 

> _"Hey, you are Sehun, right?" Chanyeol approaches a boy whom he knows the son to his neighbor. He was just coming back from school when he noticed a boy sitting near the gate of his house Chanyeol could already hear him crying. But then now as he is standing right in front of the boy, he can clearly see Sehun's knees are both wounded, probably falling while he was playing somewhere._
> 
> _"Sehun-ah, are you okay?" The boy does not move but his cry is getting louder when Chanyeol's hand reaches for his head just to stroke his soft, silky blonde hair. It is so heartbreaking to see the five year old boy crying. Even though Chanyeol is nowhere near close to the younger boy, it still hurts him to see Sehun this vulnerable before him. He lets his hand fall to Sehun's back, rubbing at it softly to comfort the younger and that is when the blonde boy lifts his head up to look at the owner of the hand._
> 
> _Chanyeol tries not to flinch at the bruise on the latter's cheek and his puffy eyes are glistening with sadness and pain._
> 
> _"Oh my, what happened to you? Did someone hurt you, Sehun?"_
> 
> _Sehun hisses when the elder's hand comes in contact with his bruised and tears-stained cheek but his eyes are fixed to Chanyeol's dark brown ones, looking into it. His mind is screaming something, as if asking for help, for people to protect him and Chanyeol seems to understand it as he pulls the other into a hug, embracing the small, fragile figure in his arms._
> 
> _"It's okay, you can cry. Hyung is here, okay?"_

 

' _There is no place for a person like you in this world,'_

Sehun watches the blood oozes as he slowly draw lines on his thigh with a razor blade as he lays in the warm water making cuts and closes his eyes when he feels the blood runs down his thigh into the water turning it red. His whole body is shaking due to the freshly cuts on his skin, head resting on the brink if the bath tub. It feels almost like nothing for a second until the pain sears through the wound which cause his breath to hitch.

Although it is displeasing but Sehun always finds it satisfying. It eases him moments after as he relaxes and his mind is back focusing on the whispering voice in his head. The voice has never stopped, not even once. Every time he's alone in the bed, it will come to him, screaming in his head, telling him how he is not worth living. 

_'Do you think you can survive? Everybody hates you, Sehun. They want so bad to see you die.'_

Sehun draws a few more cuts on his arm, just to soothe his pain. He has done this since forever. It has become a habit, something he would not want to stop; the only thing that will make him feel better. This self-injury has helped him to relieve his emotional pain and Sehun has been living with it ever since he was twelve. Now that he is nineteen, Sehun does not think he can promise himself to recover. 

_'You're so weak and stupid, Sehun. You can't even fight for yourself. You have let them kill you, beat you and now there is nothing left in you but wounds!'_

A tears streams down his face and he feels his eyes burning to the words that have come stabbing, right through his chest, making his vision blurry. It is like someone is ripping his heart, shredding it as though it's just a piece of blank paper. Unwanted, Sehun feels himself unwanted and abandoned.

None has ever wanted him live.

None has ever appreciated him as a human being who deserves more than just happiness. There is a pound on his head when the words come searing his skin and the grief his body is containing is enormous. If only he could stop all the torture from crawling back up, he would've done it years ago but it is just too much for him to handle. 

Every second that ticks by has him screamed but his body is slowly drowning, trapped underwater. Sehun is tired and the exhaustion has prevailed over his body and there seems to be no use for him to struggle. It is too unbearable. For years, Sehun has been struggling to live, to keep breathing. Hoping that he would soon get something worthy of living but as days passed, no one has come to save.

They have let him drown in his own miseries.

Sehun has stopped learning to hold his breath, getting his lungs full of water, choking until his whole budy burns. It is hard and painful he wants a reprieve. But eventually, he resigns to the torment and allow himself to just drown. 

Sehun wants to stay afloat but succumbing to the water seems to be his only option. 

 

* * *

 

 

_'Sehun, Sehun! Don't leave me, honey!'_

The voice. 

Sehun opens his eyes, waking up to a blinding white surrounding. He looks around which everything moves in a slow motion and he breathes into the cold air of which the silence slowly takes place, muffling every sound and voice but it is deafening, blasting through his ears which causes him to feel dizzy. There is a constant headache but he ignores it and takes his first move. 

_'Please, save my son!_

Again.

The voice breaks the deafening silence and Sehun's eyes wander over the place, unknown. His steps come to a halt and his hand is quick to reach for the hem of his shirt. He clutches at it as he trembles. The beads of sweat begin to form on his skin. He feels anxious. The place is so foreign and he has never been to a place this white, as if everything is washed and bleached. It makes him wonder. In his life, he'd never faced a room this bright and Sehun's eyes squint at the view. He is walking down the hallway, searching for the owner of the familiar voice. 

_'Save my son, please doctor!'_

_"Mom?"_ He breathes. Each inhale of breath he has taken resonates across his mind. His steps are slow and he has his hand holding the freezing wall as he strolls down the narrow hallway. Sehun is still so confused as to why he is suddenly here, all alone. Its coldness bites at the tip of his fingers and Sehun feels breathless with every step that he takes. Although the place is not giving him the feeling of lonely but he is still isolated. 

_"Take my hand,"_

_"Huh?"_ Sehun turns around. It's the familiar deep voice and he'd heard of it somewhere. There is the figure of a man again, a few meters away from him but he cannot see his face as it is shielded by the puffs of smoke. 

_"Take my hand, Sehun."_ The man is holding out his hand for Sehun to take. 

_"Who are you?"_ A step hesitantly taken owing to the fact that he does not want any harm to come in his way and the stranger though seems to be holding no ill-will but he still should not believe anyone, should he? 

_"Your guidance,"_ The other says again, voice low but firm. There is a hint of smile lacing in his voice and Sehun can clearly hear it. 

_"My guidance?"_ Sehun asks again out of curiosity but his hand is moving to reach the stranger's. It is never too close but his presence is overwhelming which turns the place warm. 

_"Take my hand and I'll save you."_

 

 

Sehun wakes up to the sound of a heart monitor beeping, breaking the quietude in the room. His heavy eyes are fixed on the white ceiling before it moves to wander, examining the room he is in.

There is a TV set hangs from the ceiling and a cabinet underneath. There are flowers and fruits placed on it which Sehun assumes from the visitors. Then his gaze averts to the window that is a few meters away from his bed he is lying. He can see the bright, blue sky outside the window and the sunrays seep in the room to give him the feeling of calming and refreshing. The smell of strong antiseptic is telling him that he is in the hospital. 

Taking a deep breath, he looks away from the window only to peek at his hand that is attached to the IV's.

"Oh, you're awake!" Out of nowhere, the figure pops out to be standing next to his bed. It is Park Chanyeol and he has no idea how in the world the other guy happens to be there. It is not that they are close and Sehun frowns at his presence in the room without having slightest of feeling to actually greet the other. "Hold on a second, I'll tell the doctor that you've woken up." 

He watches Chanyeol storms off the room and his frowns deeper. _'What has happened?'_  

 

 

> _"It's all my fault, Madam Park." She says, staring down at her hands. Disappointed is all that she is feeling, owing to the fact that she had never cared for what her son was feeling, what her son had been facing throughout his life. All she knows is for him to do the best in school and stop minding others' judgement. She had never known that he had faced just more than that.  "I never knew..."_
> 
> _"It's no longer important how you've been careless before, the most important is now. We need to save him, we all need to help him recover." Madam Park caresses her arm and she continues to cry in the other's warm hug._
> 
> _"I have failed. As a mother, I've failed of everything. I should've been the one supporting him but instead of being a shoulder for him to lean on, I brushed him off," It is no longer a regret but Mrs. Oh is feeling beyond that which she cannot stop crying. She almost lost her sanity seeing Sehun's body covered in blood, drowning in the bath tub and she swore to God, right at that very moment she felt like someone was tearing her apart—taking her breath away in a snatch only to leave her trapped in a dead soul._
> 
> _"I know just the way to help him," Madam Park's voice is determined and firm which causes the other woman to pull away from the hug and look at her._
> 
> _"How?"_
> 
> _Instead of answering, she smiles at her and Mrs. Oh can see the sincerity curls up on her lips that has her to shed more tears but this time, it's the tears of relief._

 

 

 


End file.
